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ROYALS @ TWINS
3rd to last game (or not?)

1B: Cuddyer
2B: Punto
3B: Harris
SS: Cabrera
RF: Kubel
CF: Span
LF: Young
C: Mauer
PITCHING: Manship, Crain, Mahay, Guerrier, Nathan

PRE-GAME:

As of the top of the 4th, the White Sox are ahead of the Tigers, 2-0.  YES, PLEASE.

I am gonna miss the Dome.  Even before my family ever moved to Minnesota, back when I was just a tadpole, my first memories of this state are of the Metrodome.  Wish I could be at that last game.

My dad just ultra-depressed me by saying "I wish Kirby could be here to enjoy all this."  Excuse me, something in my eye ...

On a lighter note: MANSHIP???????

TOP OF 1st:

But seriously.  Manship?  Oh, boy.  But at least I can tell him apart form Duensing now: Duensing is pretty good and a looker.  Manship is eeuuhhh and has a huge neck.

And with a runner on third and one out, we get a beasty double play.  Heyooo.

BOTTOM OF 1st (0-0):

DiNardo pitches to Denard.  MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED.

Oh hey, Sox up 3-0.  I love you, A.J.!

HAHAH, FAKE SIDEBURNS!  I ask for them every Christmas, and apparently no one thinks sideburns are a good gift for a young lady.  Squares.

1st and 3rd with one out, and Kubel's at bat.  HITS IT!  TWINS SCORE! 

Dicky B just called Cuddyer hitting a 3-run homer.  Um ... no.  Walked.

DELMON YOUNG HITS HIS FIRST GRAND SLAM!

I guess Dicky B was off by one batter.  So awesome!

TOP OF 2nd (5-0, Twins):

Hilarious, Teahen has "Circle Me Bert" on the wrists of his batting gloves!

7-0, White Sox?  Am I in Heaven?

BOTTOM OF 2nd (5-0, Twins):

Commercial break and the Sox score one more.  

Um, bases loaded, new Royals pitcher, and they still walk Cuddyer.  Well, uhh, whatever you gotta do, guys.

Oh look, another two runs.  

TOP OF 3rd (7-0, Twins):

Oh.  I forgot there's a game going on.

BOTTOM OF 3rd (7-0, Twins):

"Just keep winning ballgames and hope you get some help from the White Sox," says Bert.  So far, I'd say we're doing just that.

1-2-3 inning.

BOTTOM OF 4th (8-0, Twins):

Kubel cranks a huuuuge homer - very deep and very high.  Wow.

Sweet Jesus, Delmon drove in 5 of the 8 runs?  I guess we have to get Mijares to piss him off more often.

Um, hello Harris. Hits a double of the Stanley sign, drives in Cuddyer.  Sexual Harris-ment, FTW!

Another run hit in by Delmon.  I'm pretty sure he's making up for the suckitude earlier.

Awesome, just awesome.

TOP OF 5th (10-0, Twins):

Oops, KC scores one run.  EVERYBODY PANIC!

Oh, and another run.  Hope we don't get careless now.

BOTTOM OF 5th (10-2, Twins):

Eh.

TOP OF 6th (10-2, Twins):

Unfortunately, this game is getting less interesting since we're pretty much assured a win.

The 'Ship sets sail into the sunset, hopefully picking up his first Major League win.  But OH SNAP, CRAINWRECK?!

Yeah, and he's choking pretty well.  Bases loaded.  Oh cool, and two runs scored.  

Hahaha, the foul ball landed in this dude's cup, and he gave a cheers and took a drink.

Oh cool, more runs! 10-5.

And Ma-hay-hey gets the final out.  Gross.

BOTTOM OF 6th (10-5, Twins):

At this point I gotta give a shout-out to by partner in crime, J-Schoon, who last weekend drew my attention to why "K" stands for a strikeout.  Not so much that, but why there's backwards K's and regular K's.  So, three K's would be rather offensive to a lot of people, so is that why there's backward ones, we wondered?  Nope.  Turns out, a friend told J-Pain that a backwards K means caught them looking.  DUH.

1-2-3 inning.

TOP OF 7th (10-5, Twins):

I feel weird longing for the innings when Manship was pitching.  But now Keppel is in, and so far so good.

BAM, inning over.

BOTTOM OF 7th (10-5, Twins):

WOW, Tolbert with a triple.

But a 1-2-3 inning?  WHUH?

TOP OF 8th (10-5, Twins):

Okay, things are unraveling quickly, and they put in Mijares.  Yes, that pitcher that fired up Delmon, who was fined $500 for last night, who almost started WWIII: Midwest Edition.

NO WAY.  MIJARES HITS THE BATTER.  And then almost beans the next.  Wow.  Just wow.  Guerrier is warming up, bases are loaded.  

And Mijares gets the first batter out.  Cool, because I just had a stroke.

And he lets two go.  10-7, and two on base.  Wow.

BOTTOM OF 8th (10-7, Twins):

SO, uhh ... this is not what I pictured in the 5th.

The crowd chants "MVP" as Mauer takes the plate.  Love it.

1-2-3 inning, though.  And J-Nate returns.  Please, I already went into cardiac arrest today; no funny business.

TOP OF 9th (10-7, Twins):

2 outs, 0-1 to the batter ... 2-2 ... 3-2! ... and TOLBERT CATCHES IT FTW!

FINAL: 10-7, Twins

VERDICT:

Why must our bullpen constantly give me a vapors?  Why must we almost blow a 10-0 lead? Oh well.  The point being, WE WON.  TIGERS LOST.  Love it!