Results tagged ‘ jays ’

Wins, losses, and roadtrippin’.

Sweet Jesus, I bet all three of you that still read this were scared I’d given up or was living on the streets or you actually never thought about it until now.  

Well, I’ve been on a roadtrip with my brother and his wife for two weeks through the northeast; we went up to Toronto, over to Montreal (OUI!), down through Vermont, New Hampshire, and Connecticut to Boston, on to New York City, and then through Philly to end up back in Minneapolis for Thursday’s Twins game against the White Sox (I bet you though I was going off on some tangent about my life unrelated to baseball.  No, sirs and madams, baseball is what makes my sad little life bearable).
I actually tried my best to see and take pictures of the ballparks we passed … but that was mostly in vain.
[I pre-apologize for the wonky long-ness of the pictures.  Please fix that, MLBlogs.  You're killin' me.]
TORONTO – Rogers Centre:
rogers.jpg
This thing looked awesome from the street and even more awesome a billion feet up in the CN Tower. 
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The Blue Jays have a pretty snazzy park.  And “Centre?” Yes, centRE, from the land of maple syrup, French Canadians, and Justin Morneau.  Gotta love it.
Obviously, the Expos don’t exist in Montreal anymore, as they are now the team forever known as the “NATINALS.” But I did see Fenway and could’ve walked over there from the MFA Boston.  Alas, my travel companions weren’t into that idea.
In New York, I was too scared to try to figure out where the stadium was.  Bronx?  Brooklyn?? We were staying in Manhattan right by Central Park, if that tells you anything.  If I would’ve went anywhere beyond Manhattan I would’ve curled in a ball and cried.
PHILADELPHIA – Citizen’s Bank Park
Philthadelphia.  The dirty little city that could.  As we drove in, we could see not only the park for the Phillies but also the stadium for the Eagles.  Or whatever they’re called – I’m no football fan.
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After that, I didn’t see anything but U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago, which randomly appeared as I was trying to drive and not die on I-90.  As I passed, I yelled, “THANKS FOR JOE CREDE!” … I hope they heard.
MINNEAPOLIS – Metrodome
And of course, at the end of my journey through the lands of poutine, chowder, street-vendor hotdogs, and cheese-steaks, I came home to the largest inflatable toilet in North America: my beloved Metrodome.
We had killer seats, thanks to State Farm (my dad works there); we were six rows back from the warmup mound of the White Sox.  Like 30 feet away from me were Contreras, WiIliams, Pena, and Jenks. 
contrerasss.jpg
willy.jpg
jenky.jpg
whitebeard.jpg
But then, like a glowing yellow beacon in the night and illicits boos from here to Indonesia, came … PIERZYNSKI.
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Don’t worry, I made sure to tell him loudly how delightful his hair color was.
So, we managed to sweep the Sox after winning one of the four games against the Angels and totally choking twice against the A’s.  And, although we took the series against the Rangers, no C.J. Wilsons were harmed, THANK GOD.
And speaking of the A’s, it looks like we took Cabrera.  Holy Moses – a REAL shortstop!  Kidding, I still love Little Nicky Punto, but this should be … interesting.
Rematch against the Angels tonight.  Scared?  I am.

I wish Bert had Twitter.

I had to quit watching after the 7th last night, it was just too painful.

But, today is a new day and with it a new matchup of the Twins andJays.  Likely pitching for Minnesota is Liriano.  Also, Gardy is thinking about benching Crede tonight to give the man, who has started 9 or the last 10 games, a rest.  That robot back he has now better hold up …
Also, the only two (really??) African-Americans on the Twins, Spanand Young, shared some of their thoughts about last night’s anniversary marking Jackie Robinson‘s entry into baseball:

“He was an angel sent from God, I feel. Not that many people could go through what he went through. Because of him, I’m here today.” [Denard Span]

That’s pretty damn powerful.  Young added:


“He did a lot for the game,” Young said of Robinson. “It brought people who probably never watched baseball to watch baseball, to see a person succeed in a game they weren’t supposed to succeed at, at that time.”

Here’s hoping the boys, after another suck-fest last night, can throw down a win tonight against the Dirty Blue Birds so I don’t have to wash my face with my own tears before I go to bed.

Toronto Dirty Birds.

1b: MORNEAU
2b: CASILLA
3b: CREDE
SS: PUNTO
C: REDMOND
RF: CUDDYER
CF: GOMEZ
LF: SPAN
PITCHING:
BAKER
HUMBER
DICKEY

TOP O’ THE 2nd:

Looks like we’re ahead, 2-0.  I like seeing that.  I also like that I couldn’t watch the game last night, so as I was getting massively hammered, I checked the score on the news crawl at the bottom of ESPN.  Go me!
Baker is pitching! EEEEEE!  And Dickey is in the bullpen … teehee.  I love Dickey jokes, because I’m a 7-year old.
And a game-tying homer by Roland.  Awesome? 
BOTTOM O’ THE 2nd:
This guy says the Jay’s pitcher studied Baker in the offseason.  No big deal …
Redmond is up.   Like I said before, I think he sort of looks like a burn victim.  Like, in a good way … ?  I know that sounds judgmental, but that’s okay because I’m judgmental.  
Here comes Dirty Punto!  He looks like he’s pocket-sized.  Oh cute, he’s 5’9″ according to MLB.com.  You could fit him in a teacup with a lump of sugar.  Bounces one to short and is tagged out.
TOP O’ THE 3rd:
Merle Harmon died today, who was an announcer for Twins,Brewers, etc. games.  Aw.  This has been a bad, bad couple of weeks for baseball.
OH ****, another two-run homer for the Jays.  I’m annoyed.  2-4 now.
WHAT, AND ANOTHER???  Baker is not amused.  Why do all these players have #42 on the back of their jerseys?
Gomez ends the inning with a catch deep in center.  Finally. 2-5.
BOTTOM O’ THE 3rd:
And here’s Gomez as the lead-off batter, but is put away at 1st.  He did a sweet slide, though.
Span is up, lookin’ fine.  Hits it to the gap in center, makes it a single. 
Oooh, Casilla.   Span is getting a little Denarded, trying to sneak another base.  Please, if you can manage to get on base, that’s really all you need to do.  Most Twins can’t even do that, so don’t screw it up, mister.  Casilla is taking his time.  And he’s walked.
MORNEAUUU! Some chick had a “marry me, Morneau” sign and Dick’s like, “a little late – he got married in the off-season.”  Please, girl.  You’re wasting your time.  He hits one, but Casilla is tagged out at 2nd and Morneau makes it to 1st.
Kubes hits one, but gets a third out and the inning’s over.
TOP O’ THE 4th:
Baker is still pitching.  Oh, spectacular, there’s another homer.  That’s the 4th off of Baker.  I just threw up in my mouth.
OH DUH, #42 is for Jackie Robinson, because today is the 60-somethingth anniversary of him breaking the color barrier.  ”The color barrier” is a lame, lame term.  But you go, Jackie.
BOTTOM O’ THE 4th:
Cuddyer, obviously, is put away quickly.  Here’s Crede, but he’s retired too.
Aaaand here’s Redmond, fresh out a burning building.
TOP O’ THE 5th:
Phillip Humber?  Who is this clown?
BOTTOM O’ THE 5th
Dick, Burt, and Ron are discussing Gomez being too young and too eager to hit the ball.  I agree; he’ll just get buck wild on the first pitch, rather than being patient like Span or Mauer and taking it in stride.  Still, he’s fun to watch.
And that inning went quick.
TOP O’ THE 6th:
Weird; the ball bounced off the foot of a Jay
s player while he was running, making him automatically out.  I have never seen that before.
And then some wiggity-wack business happened … Casilla misses a hit, Gomez grabs it and tosses it to 3rd, which hits a runner in the back of the head – he goes for home then runs back to 3rd, and finallyMorneau tosses it back to Crede at 3rd, but he’s called safe.  SHENANIGANS!

OH NO, A BEACH BALL ON THE FIELD!  EVERYBODY PANIC!

Okay, the bases are loaded with 2 outs.  Can we please get this 3rd out now so I don’t have to have a heart attack?
Oh sweet, they scored twice.  8 to 2.  Is it too late to be a Yankeesfan now?
Dickey‘s on the mound. Teeheehee.  Oh, and what’s that?  The Jaysscore again?  
The inning ends with the Twins behind, 9-2.
BOTTOM O’ THE 6th:
Morneau is put away, and here’s Kubel.  And he’s put away at first, too.
Ohh, CUDDY.  Hits one high into center, but it’s caught.  That was quick.
TOP O’ THE 7th: 
Oh my goodness, we’re missing balls left and right.  Our fielding is embarrassing tonight.
And it’s now 10-2.  Why am I still watching?
BOTTOM O’ THE 7th:
Gomez is getting all frustrated and worked up.  C’mon, GoGo.  And he’s put away.
My Man Span … aw, and the inning’s over.  Christ.
FINAL: 12-2, Jays.
VERDICT:
Um, where did our fielding skills go?  And batting … where’s that?

Toronto Blue Eh’s.

13 April, 7:10 pm
vs. Blue Eh’s

1b: MORNEAU

2b: CASILLA

3b: BUSCHER

C: MORALES

RF: CUDDYER

CF: SPAN

LF: YOUNG

SS: PUNTO


PITCHING:

SLOWEY

GUERRIER

 BRESLOW

AYALA

DICKEY


TOP O’ THE 5TH:

Great.  I start watching and this Toronto **** Burglar just got a home run.  It’s 5 to 3.

Slow-children-ey, lookin’ good.  Apparently we were doing well before I started watching.

NOOOOO, Hill hits one to center and it’s missed after a diving catch.  Oh well, he only got to first.  I wonder if the Jays drink maple syrup together before the game and sing a rousing chorus of “O Canada?”

And Punto keeps it in his glove, putting the second runner away.  I LOVE YOU, DIRTY PUNTO!

Good to see Morneau rather than Cuddy on 1st.  VERY GOOD to see.

I see Cuddy is in right field.  I like him there.  And I could get used toMorales behind home, since Dreamyburns is too busy being hurt and breaking my fragile heart.

Got him!  You talk into that glove, Slowey!  I LOVE YOU HAVE MY BABIES OMG I’M CREEPY.

BOTTOM O’ THE 5TH:
Aww, Kirby Puckett.  My childhood hero.

Span is walked.  YOU SCURRRRED, Toronto??

Casilla bunts, gets credit for a sacrifice and Span gets to second.  Gomez and Casilla are super ballsy with all their bunts.  

Morneau, our Canadian transplant.  Maybe after the game he’ll drink some syrup with his fellow Diet Americans?

HOLY ****, Morneau hits a nice double.  Perhaps he had some Canadian bacon before the game.

Span gets home thanks to my bearded boyfriend Jason Kubel. Now 6-3.

Oh, Cuddy.  Should I start crying now?  Nope, sacrifice fly, and an RBI.

Young gets put away, inning is over.  That was fairly boring.

TOP O’ THE 6TH:
The guy behind me at the home opener got circled, too. I tried to jump in the shot, but I think that they started to turn off the camera when I got close.  I have a face for radio and blogging, folks.

****.  Homer, and it’s 6-5.  Slowey, what’s wrong??  Looks like they’re warming up Breslow (agh!).

Looks like it’s time for a pitching change.  Guerrerererier!  Wait, according to my 4 semesters of French, I believe “Guerrier” means “warrior.”  Or maybe I just made that up.

Stolen base.  I wouldn’t say stolen; I think I saw that Canadian trade a beaver pelt for it.

Okay, another walk.  Warrior, listen.  This is no time to be scared of America’s Hat.

And a badass double play, the end.

BOTTOM O’ THE 6TH:
Apparently the Jays had the best bullpen in the AL last year.  Fun fact, care of Dick Bremer.

Another fun fact: the Cuban ballplayers are now going to have better communication with their families back in Cuba.  Namedroppin’ TonyOliva, Dick?  I like it.  

DIrty Punto is taking his time.  That totally sounded dirtier than I intended.  Punto is put away (teehee), and my main man Span is up.  Hits a two-out double against the wall in right field. 

Casilla, I like how you stick out your *** when you bat.  Span steals a base, and is now on 3rd.  Another pop fly … oh, Casilla.  Stop that.  And it’s over.

TOP O’ THE 7TH:
When I typed “Guerrier” into google image search, it looked like a bunch of Norse Viking craziness.  Uhh …

HI BAKER!  HI!  HI! HI HI HI HI!!  YOU’RE BACK!!  BAKER!  HI!

Morneau looks like he’s just constantly totally confused. 

OHhh, and here comes Breslow.  After yesterday, the best I could say is I’m nervous.  Apparently, last year he was dating a few different teams, but he realized the only one for him was the Twins.  Guys always love twins.  

Wells traded a buffalo pelt for a base.  Sneeeeaakkyyyy.

And now I guess they’re bringing in Ayala to finish the job.  I guess it takes a village to pitch a game?  And with that first pitch, a run is scored. &n
bsp;Welp … there goes our lead, and it’s now 6-6.  I’m gonna barf.

BOTTOM O’ THE 7TH:
Young lady?  Celebrating her 89th birthday?  Burt.  C’mon.

Morneau is up.  Now is the time, Home Run Derby 2008 champ.  And his deep hit to right is caught.  

Kubes gets a base hit.  And HEEEEEEERE’S CUDDY!  Burt says his last home run was June 6th.  Yeah.  I’d have to believe that.  Chopper to second, and the inning is over.  THANKS!

TOP O’ THE 8TH:
Jays get on 2nd right away.  I didn’t know they let little league players pitch for our team? 

Oh boy, they’re warming up Ichabod Crain.

OH JESUS.  HOMER.  TWO-RUN LEAD.  Warming up Dickey (teehee).

Another base hit, and Gardy‘s had enough.  Dickey‘s in (teehee)!  This is the knuckleball guy, I guess.

Infield hit.  Ball rolls away from Morales, and the runners advance to 2nd and 3rd.  This is a joke.

BOTTOM O’ THE 8TH:
Harris hits it long and makes it to 2nd.  

And Delmon 3000 Young is up.  A wild pitch, and apparently Harris‘s belt explodes (presumably from his pants being unable to hold in all that awesomeness) as he makes it to 3rd.  Me likey!  Young strikes out, stranding Harris at 3rd.

Here comes Crede.  Oh.  Crap.  He’s put away.  NOOOO.

Help us, Dirty Punto!  You’re our only hope!  He’s threatening to bunt.  AND HE’S RETIRED.  Honestly?  With Harris just chillin’ there?  

TOP O’ THE 9th:
SO.  Looks like it was a 1-2-3 jaunt.  Here’s the deal.  We could easily get two runs if we wanted to … but WILL WE???

BOTTOM O’ THE 9th:
Here we go.  Span is up.  Two strikes.  Oh God.  Hits it into left, gets to 1st.  Hell yes.

I am currently unable to put together coherent, insightful sentences because I’m shitting razor blades.  

Casilla is up, and he wants it BAD.  But apparently the Jays want it worse, because OH LOOK, a double play.

Morneau … listen.  I know you’re playing your fellow countrymen, but seriously.  I don’t want to fall asleep to the sound of my own tears.  Oh look, a base hit.  

KUUUUUUBEL.  I meant it.  Please do this … Popped up, caught, and the end.


FINAL: 6-8, Blue Eh’s

VERDICT: Too many Canada jokes.

Our pitching got shifty, our batting was pretty sad.  I take it back;The Eh’s are a good team.  I guess there’s always tomorrow.  That should seriously be the Twins team motto.

Eh, Jays?

Tonight at 7 pm we’re up against the Toronto Blue Jays. Kevin “Caution: Slow Children” Slowey is pitching against the Jay’s Litsch. Now, obviously, I don’t know anything about this pitcher or really this entire team, but I’m hoping our boys are so mad about the last two games against the Shite Sox that they’ll try a bit harder.

The Unspeakable Game yesterday, which I dutifully liveblogged for because I have no friends, was frustrating enough to watch, and apparently the players and Gardy were just as thrilled as I was:

“It was an ugly baseball game by us,” Gardenhire said. “Blackburn threw the ball very well for us. We missed the ball, which is not the way we do things. We didn’t play good defense, and offensively we just didn’t have a lot of good at-bats.”
…
“As one of my coaches said, we’re just struggling a little bit,”Gardenhire said. “We’ll see if we can get home and get back on the right track. It was kind of ugly baseball here the last two [days].” (mlb.com)

Ugly: yes. Props to Blackburn and Young, though. Dreamyburns IIdid some solid pitching, and Delmon 3000 gave us our only home run of the day. Fortunately, Cuddyer came at the right time to ruin any good playing by both:

“Up to that point, Blackburn had not given up an earned run in the outing, as the first White Sox run scored on a two errors by first baseman Michael Cuddyer in the fifth inning.” (mlb.com)

First of all, why the frick was Cud-Yer on first? I’m sure there was a legit reason stemming from Morneau needing rest of something, but … CUDDY ON FIRST? That’s an error in itself.

Here’s hoping A.) We do much, much better against the Jays, B.)Slowey can hold it down, C.) Morneau is back in place, and D.) Eau Claire gets the Twins on some channel that doesn’t require me to spend my night at a pub … because I will be drunk if they play remotely anything like the past two games.

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